for those of you who follow me on facebook, you’re aware of the nothing-short-of-ridiculous drama surrounding this very website this week. the long and the short of it is, i blogged on monday, noticed my website was down, made a call, made a change and then poof! everything was gone. i truly thought there wasn’t any hope, due to confusing and conflicting reports from various people trying to help (but who were in fact hurting with their help). but, thanks to a rad man in dallas who is now my official best friend, today everything came back. i also am the first to say that in retrospect, my technical ignorance caused me to completely overreact, and i now look several shades of crazy. but, frankly, i’d rather be crazy with a website than sane without a website. almost losing this thing made me realize how much i value it. i’m so incredibly grateful it’s back, but these words i wrote very early wednesday morning in the throws of hopelessness remain true:

“…as I get further from the initial shock that it is all gone, there is a welling feeling of excitement for the chance at a clean slate. Some of you know I have been working on rebranding for too many months now, but as long as my now vanished site existed, I didn’t have quite as much fire to get it done as I could have. It’s no secret what greatness necessity can breed, and I no longer have the luxury to hem and haw over my new direction. Getting clear on who I am and what I’m saying to the world is far overdue. It’s almost as if my site’s disappearance was a very loud “time’s up” from the universe (if the universe is in fact some sort of obnoxious test administrator).

Maybe a lost website is actually a permission slip to be myself.

The old site was adorable and whimsical, but it was ultimately distracting and sending the wrong message. It was built at a time when I was all but physically clawing myself away from a dark newspaper job, and I admittedly took the cute too far. The new site will be cleaner and have more space for me to be me. I love all things lovely, happy and free (those are my three brand words, and the words I focus on going into every shoot), but I’m also a little bit moody and snarky. In my real life, there are far fewer exclamation points than the old carly mitchell photography suggested. I also curse like a truck driver, much to my mother’s chagrin. I need it to be ok for a bit of those things to come through in the new space I’ll build. I’m certain it’s possible for prettiness and sarcasm and sentiment and wit and joy to co-exist, because they do within me. I think I’ve earned enough distance between journalism and now to start writing again. A new site will be a lovely place to try.

Maybe it’ll be a lot like this lengthy farewell to a website passed, only maybe not as lengthy, or at least hopefully on subjects funnier and/or more important than a website passed.”

for now, though, i’m thrilled to have a space to continue sharing my latest work, including these of my cute sister who is carrying her fourth babe, a boy due in june. she and her hubs make gorgeous, hilarious, spunky little spuds, and the whole fam can’t wait to see what sort of laughter and joy this little one will bring to our lives.

{mat kearney: all i need}